I played softball (I keep typing software, instead of softball). One of my coworkers is playing first base. She is waiting for a ball to be tossed from outfield. The catcher calls her name. She turns back towards home just in time to take the line drive full in her face. She crumbles in a fetal position cradling her head for several minutes. Her sunglasses dug into her nose and cut a two inch length down it. Today, she has 2 ginormously black eyes and stuffed sinuses.
First base. My old forte. Home of breaking the only bone-like substance I've ever broken (aka my nose). I take over for the bloodfaced darling, standing in her blood puddle still staining my shoes. I stop a ground ball and run back for first to touch it before the hitter can. She's going to beat me, so I dive for first. Unfortunately, I slide through first and the hitter runs right through my skull. I am bleeding from several different places and road-rashed on most limbs.
It turns out the hitter was the company president's daughter and she got some bruises from the ordeal. (I have a tough skull that you can't generally kick through.) My friend Glen sprayed my eye wound with this chemical cauterizing liquid to stop the bleeding. Man, that stuff stings.
I will have neschek take a picture of the developing Harry Potter scar on my eye before it heals too quickly. It looks great! Today is the first day that my eye will stay open, so I have my depth perception back.
Now I'm leaving work.